I am reminded of a documentary, BTW that I thought was very cruel at the time, about baby monkey#1, who was being experimented on, who was exposed to a bare wireframe surrogate mother with a nipple and a baby monkey #2 that was being exposed to a surrogate mother wireframe with a nipple but had cloth covering. The baby who had the wire mother with a cloth covering was less neurotic. MHO all of us want the mother Church to be authentic. if that’s not possible we are likely to be more healthy with something a bit closer to the real thing. I grew up in an alcoholic family and as a child of Alcoholics I put on a role of the ghost child. The ghost child eventually realizes there is no nurturing there, no emotional attachment. NOT possible with an addict!! Typically, the ghost child can’t stand the neglect and/or abuse and learns to entertain himself/herself, and isolates from the toxic family. I have observed that the churches today in the United States are more like families with people addicted to alcohol. Religion can be as addicting I think. The sad truth about any kind of addict is that they are so sick they have no ability to be loyal to anything but their supply. A child has no choice but to be part of the tribe he or she was dropped in. As an adult one has more choices. MHO: “be the change you wish to see.” (This quote is attributed to Mahatma Gandhi.) I spent my whole life keeping my opinion to myself. Only now am I finding, here and there, people who welcome my opinion as a progressive Christian. 1 suggestion is to be as wise as serpents and harmless as doves. Richard Rohr suggests: “If you try to assert wisdom before people have themselves walked it, be prepared for much resistance, denial, push-back, and verbal debate.”
Only those who are ready to receive can hear. When one is ready to have discernment one may share ones experience strength and hope with whom one is directed via the Holy Spirit to share it with. MHO this will take time and patience for the one who is seeking contact. Blogging helps I have found. You are loved and will find the fellowship you crave!! Hang in there baby!!